Hey Hey You You! I Don't Like Your Girlfriend!
by jzazy
Summary: So Nudge and Angel make Max watch the Avril Lavigne Girlfriend video, and they get ideas to ruin Fang and Lissa's date! Max uses a wig to go out in public and aproach Fang...oh boy! *Based On Girlfriend Music Video* Its funny, and there's FAX! R&R!


**_Yello people! Oh My Fang! i just HAD to do this story! i always loved the song, but i hadn't watched the video till like a week ago, i know i'm so out of it! anyways, long story short, i loved the song, but i like totally adore the music video, anyways, i found it ironic that the girl who gets dump had red hair, so i was like, oh, i can make that be dumb lissa! n den ta-dan! new story! i love this story because of the song, and i used the music video to do it! they're probably OOC but, i like it, so review! flames are accepted, suggestions are loved!_**

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God I hate Lissa. She's so girlie, with her stupid red hair and her stupid skirts and long socks. And she has this high pitched, freaking annoying voice. And she probably hates me too. She rolls her eyes at me when ever I interrupt her and Fang when she thinks Fang's not looking. God she's so stupid. She totally throws herself onto him, I mean, I don't even know why they're going out, they're like total opposites. Fang is reserved, strong and silent, and she's just out there. And she never shuts up. She talks Fang into doing things he doesn't want to.

Like today, she made him go on a date with her to golf n stuff. Like since when does Fang golf? She's so wrong for him. I mean she doesn't even know him!  
I hate Lissa! Have I mentioned that?

Angel came into my room with Nudge. I was lying on "my" bed with my legs up against the wall.

"Yes you've mentioned that. A couple times actually." she said closing the door behind her.

"Oh." I said blushing. "Hey guys. What's up?"

"Max, we want you to watch something." she said taking my hand. She and Nudge led me into Iggy's room where he and Gazzy where playing with Fang's laptop.

"Guys we need the computer for like 5 minutes." Nudge said. Gazzy and Ig groaned but handed it over.

Nudge quickly opened a new Internet page and typed into Google the command of "Girlfriend Music Video".

I started to feel self conscious as Nudge clicked on a link on YouTube for a music video for the song Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne.

Gazzy and Iggy watched the video with us (Iggy mainly just listening) and it was a very funny video about a girl trying to get another girl's boyfriend. You know what I found most funny? The girl who lost was a redhead!

I immediately fell in love with the song. It had an awesome beat, I could totally relate, and the music video was just hilarious!

I was laughing by the end of the video. I could totally relate.

"Wow that song sounds like it's written for Max about Fang." Iggy said laughing. I threw a pillow at him which he freakishly dodged.

"Yeah, you guys should get together already. I don't know why you're trying to date other people when you're obviously crazy about each other." Gazzy said laughing with Iggy.

"Exactly." Nudge said.

"So, we're going to make our own version of this video, and you're gonna get Fang." Angel said smiling.

I shook my head. "Even if I began to consider that crazy idea, everyone here thinks Fang is my brother, and I don't think he even likes me either."

"Max, you are doing this, and Fang does love you, its obvious, and we'll take care of how you're gonna get Fang back without blowing your cover." Nudge said grinning.

"You see, we did some research, and it turns out Avril was all 3 girls in the video, just wearing wigs, so....."

"Oh my God! You guys are sneaky!"

"I wonder how Max would look with black hair."

"You'd be unrecognizable, and you'd be able to approach Fang."

"But Fang will probably attack me if I approach him."

"He'd recognize you no matter what." Angel assured me.

She pulled out a black wig, a long sleeve white shirt, a black plain shirt, black pants, a cool locking belt, and eye liner.

"Let's do this!" Nudge said excited.

They kicked Gazzy and Iggy out of their rooms and made me over.

"Okay, now, Nudge and I are gonna change so we can come along to help you, and today's mission is, Operation Fax!" Angel and Nudge giggled and slapped high fives.

"Are you done yet? I want to go back to fighting zombies." Gazzy said coming back in with Iggy.

"Whoa, where's Max?" he asked. I smiled.

"I'm right her Gaz."

"Whoa!" he breathed. "What?" Iggy asked. Gazzy explained my appearance as I applied eye liner to my eyes carefully.

"No way! Max is going emo too! She and Fang are gonna be the emo couple!" Iggy said howling with laughter.

"Shut up you idiot!" I said throwing another pillow at him.

"Ow." he said in between laughs.

"Okay, let's go." Nudge said.

We got to the place where Fang and Lissa would be. I saw Lissa take Fang's hand, and start talking loudly to him about something totally stupid.

The three of us took a seat at one of the tables by the entrance of the place while Fang and her got tickets for the cars.

I told Angel and Nudge to get me some while I made my move.

They walked by and I crossed my arms and glared at Lissa. She rolled her eyes and kept walking. Fang looked at me curiously, but let Lissa drag him off.

I approached them then.

"Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend No way, no way, I think you need a new one Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend." I said grabbing Fang by the front of his shirt. I smiled at him and he looked at me in wonder. I saw Lissa roll her eyes and look at me as if I were crazy.

Angel ran by and slipped me some tickets for the cars. I looked at Fang, and recognition crossed his face, as did confusion.

"Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me

No way, no way, you know it's not a secret

Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your girlfriend"

Lissa pulled him away and towards the cars. I saw them get on, and go off. I quickly jumped into one and followed them.

I saw Lissa smiling wide, and looking happy while carefully steering her wheel. Fang looked relax and totally at ease. I decided to have some fun.

I caught up to Lissa, and bumped her car. She yelped out. I bumped it again and she lost control of the car and crashed into the side. I caught up to Fang.

I looked over at him. "Max?" he asked. I gave him a flirty smile as I continued my song.

"You're so fine, I want you mine, you're so delicious

I think about you all the time, you're so addictive

Don't you know what I can do to make you feel alright?

Alright, alright, alright

Don't pretend, I think you know I'm damn precious

And hell yeah, I'm a mother fucking princess

I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right

I'm right, I'm right, I'm right"

He smirked as he drove off, while the people who ran the place helped Lissa out. I raced to get off and make sure to follow them.

When I got off, I saw Nudge and Angel waiting for me. "That was great Max!" Angel said laughing.

"Yeah! Now Lissa was upset. We just saw them pass by, they went towards the booth to take pictures." Nudge told me.

I looked at her. "Fang takes pictures?"

"He doesn't have to do it with Lissa." She winked at me and I laughed and nodded. We caught up to see Fang shaking his head at Lissa in front of those booths to take pictures. Lissa crossed her arms over her chest and pouted.

"Please Nick? Pretty please?" she batted her eyes at him, and Fang sighed and pulled the curtain to let her in.

I gave them 10 seconds while they put in the money for the machine. Then I nodded my head towards the booth and walked over to it. I pulled the curtain open and saw Lissa pressed up against Fang. I pulled her off, and put my arms around his neck. We looked over at the camera and made the "rock on" sign, then we took a silly picture, and the last one I kissed him on the cheek while he smirked.

"I can't believe you're doing this." He whispered.

I put my fingers to his lips in a "shut up" way, and sang the rest of the my verse. "She's like so whatever" I made circles next to my temple in a "crazy" way and Fang's smirk widened.

"You could do so much better

I think we should get together now

And that's what everybody's talking about" I gave him a quick peck on the cheek before dashing out the booth, and finding Lissa being held back by Nudge and Angel.

I nodded my head at them and we left laughing. We heard Lissa growling, and then we hid behind bushes and watched Fang come out the booth. He scratched the back of his neck and shrugged at Lissa's glare. Then with my raptor vision, I saw the pictures slide out from the little panel. Lissa seized them and made daggers at Fang.

Fang shrugged and took the picture from him. I saw him make a move towards the garbage can and Lissa smirked satisfied, but I saw him stick the picture into his back pocket. I smirked to myself and gave Angel and Nudge a thumbs up.

I heard Lissa tell Fang she was hungry, and made him buy this like extra long piece of curled bread. I saw them each eating from each end and my stomach knotted. Soon they'd reach the middle and their lips would meet. Well I wasn't gonna let that happen!

I let them go on till there was about half a foot left, and then I marched over there singing.

"Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend

No way, no way, I think you need a new one

Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend"

Lissa looked up at me with an irritated look. They were about to meet at the middle, but I took the bread and she fell stupidly, slamming her head onto the table, I took the bread and gave Fang another kiss on the cheek. He cleaned his mouth from sugar, trying not to grin, but I'd lived with him too long not to recognize that small grin creeping across his face. Now I felt even more confident and wanted to keep singing.

"Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me

No way, no way, you know it's not a secret

Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your girlfriend"

After that, I saw the pair walking around. Lissa still looked angry, and she wasn't talking to Fang for once.

I decided to be sneaky and told Nudge and Angel to keep Lissa distracted. So they came up to her from the side where Fang couldn't see them and started telling her stuff like if they were selling cosmetics. Whatever, I only cared about getting Fang to myself right now.

He kept walking, unnoticed of Lissa having stopped. I looked over and saw a little sign with a doll on it with the dress. I gripped it as my only chance, and sneaked towards it, and was relieved to find no one else was in there. I pulled Fang from the side while he walked by and he was startled into yelping. I closed the bathroom door behind us, and locked it.

I pulled off the wig. "It really is you." He said smirking. "Wow, I never would've thought."

"How'd you know it was me?" I asked curiously.

"I told you already, I know you. I would recognize you even if you were standing next to your clone." I smiled.

I pushed Fang against the bathroom wall.

"I can see the way; I see the way you look at me

And even when you look away I know you think of me

I know you talk about me all the time again and again

And again and again and again

"So come over here and tell me what I wanna hear

Better yet, make your girlfriend disappear

I don't wanna hear you say her name ever again

And again and again and again" I whispered these lyrics in his ear, as if they were a dirty little secret.

"Max." he said sounding astonished. "Oh snap! You gotta go!" I said, when there was knocking on the door. I told Fang to climb out the back window, and went to unlock the door.

"Why the hell did you lock the door?" A girl of about 16 asked. She looked like she was about to pee in her pants.

"Emotional needs." I said shrugging. I heard deep chuckling before a window slammed shut.

After the bathroom incident, Nudge and Angel told me they'd had to run away because Lissa took them seriously and wanted to buy bright red lipstick to match her hair. I groaned. "How can Fang kiss her!?" I wondered out loud, and then my cheeks blushed as I realized I'd yelled this in front of Nudge and Angel. "She's like so… _fake_! She wears so much make up and ugh!" I said.

Angel closed her eyes in concentration. "They're going to golf now." She informed me. I nodded.

"Well, let's go golf, maybe we can run into them." I said and they nodded.

We got a golf game started by a little pond or stream. I was about to hit the ball with my back towards the stream, but when I raised the golf club, Angel and Nudge told me to look behind me. I saw stupid Lissa jumping up and down, having just put the ball into a hole. Fang was leaning against his club, seeming bored. I smiled wide. I turned direction, and gave the ball a good whack, sending it in Lissa's direction. Being in this wig and clothes made me feel free. Like I could do whatever I want and get away with it cause no one really knew it was me under the wig.

I watched the ball fly over the stream, and _**BINGO**_!

I shoot, I scored! Right at Lissa's head! She, being the dork she is, stumbled, rubbing her head. She was staggering and didn't realize she was heading for the stream, but she fell back, tripping the back of her feet against the chains that were supposed to keep you away from falling. She fell in, totally soaking herself. Fang's eyes widened.

_'Cause she's like so whatever_

_And she could do so much better_

_I think we should get together now_

_And that's what everybody's talking about__**How can Fang be dating such a dumb person? I think we really should get together, and everyone else agrees.**_

_Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend_

_No way, no way, I think you need a new one_

_Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend_

_Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me_

_No way, no way, you know it's not a secret_

_Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your girlfriend_

Nudge, Angel and I were laughing as Lissa tried to get back up to surface. Fang tried helping her up, but missed and she went back down. Nudge, Angel and I ran away laughing. We stayed long enough to see Lissa finally come out, and push Fang away. He looked mad, and started walking away. Lissa fumed and walked toward a bathroom.

_Bathroom_!

While Fang was waiting outside, I pulled him into the other bathroom.

He smirked at me, "Wow Max, what you've got against Lissa?"

"She's taking my spot." I whispered.

"No one takes your spot, Max." Fang said softly.

"Of course not." I whispered.

"You sound confident about that." He mused.

I nodded smiling. "Oh I am, cause,

Oh, in a second you'll be wrapped around my finger

Woo, 'cause I can, 'cause I can do it better

There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in?

She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking?

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger

'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better

There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in?

She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking?"

Then there was knocking on the door, and some girls pushed there ways in. They saw Fang, and were about to open their mouths, but Angel and Nudge came in, and raised their fists in a threatening way. They back out quickly.

"No way." Fang said when he saw them. Angel and Nudge smiled at him.

They went to stand outside the door.

I turned back to Fang, and started dancing around him as I kept singing.

"Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend

No way, no way, I think you need a new one" I walked over to a mirror, and drew a big X on it with a lipstick someone had left behind. I saw Fang smirk at me, and shake his head. He was leaning against a wall, with his arms over his chest watching me, with a satisfied look in his face.

"Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend

No way, no way"

"You've got a way to express yourself." He mused. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Go out, I gotta change back into the wig and stuff." I told him, for I'd taken the wig off, and I couldn't risk anyone else finding me like this.

He nodded and left. I fixed the wig, and got rid of the make up on the mirror. Then I went outside to find Fang sitting alone on a rock. I approached him smiling.

He stood up and took my hand. Just then, we heard a growl. "Nooo! He's mine!" Lissa screamed. She seemed to have dried off. Though her hair was totally frizzy, and her clothes were really wrinkled. She raced towards us, I ducked and Fang moved aside, and Lissa tripped. She rolled down the hill.

Unfortunately for her, some fat guy wearing a football jersey stepped out from those portable bathrooms right then, and Lissa still had the momentum of rolling down the hill, so she was going fast. The guy seeming startled, jumped to the side leaving the door wide opened, then Lissa seemed to trip again, and she jumped right into it, knocking the bathroom sideways, and her going down with it.

I heard Angel and Nudge laughing in the distance, while Fang and I winced in sympathy.

"Damn Max, you sure know how to get rid of them." Fang said looking at Lissa.

Just then she popped her head out from the portable bathroom, which door was still open though it was on the side. She looked at us, and noticed that Fang had taken my hand. She reached out her hand, as if trying to grasp something out of her reach, which I suppose, literally was the case with Fang. Then, seeming to realize her defeat, she sank back into the bathroom, her eyes rolling back with her.

Fang and I looked at each other.

"Bathroom?" we asked at the same time.

I laughed and nodded. We made our way to the same bathroom we'd used before and went inside.

I pulled the wig off and locked the bathroom. I sighed.

"So what brought this on?" Fang asked.

"Hey, hey, I know that you like me

No way, no way, you know it's not a secret"

I sang in his ear again.

He laughed and nodded.

"You want to be my girlfriend?" he asked seriously.

I looked up into his eyes. "Hey, hey, I want to be your girlfriend!" I declared shaking my shoulders as I danced. Fang smiled at me, a real smile, not a half smile, and the world lighted up. I smiled back, just as happy. We pulled each other into a kiss, and soon, all I could hear was Fang's breathing and his heart beating. And all I could feel was Fang's lips on mine, and his arms strong around my waist.

I seeming unconscious of what I was doing pulled off his jacket, without breaking the kiss. He put his hands behind my neck, angling our faces to make the kisses deeper. I backed him into a stall, and we went for a total make out session.

And just before my mind shorted out, I thought back to the music video, and I let go of Fang, and opened the stall door, and raised and lowered my fist in a "I won" sign.

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**_So usually ppl have them say "i love you" at the end of a story like this, but i've read the books over again recently, and i realized, thats not really their style, so since i had a few more of the song left, i decided to make it happen like this! well review! flames accepted suggestions loved! i really loved this story and i had so much fun writting it! hope you all enjoyed it! _**

**_peace out, thanks for reading!_**

**_jzazy_**


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